Princes of the Apocalypse

Session 18 - Point form is best
  • Still at Pirate Cove
    • Curse seems lifted
  • Kraken shows back (we named him Phil, the inappropriately named, squid by the captain’s decree)
    • He talked about curses
    • About water lord and when we met him
    • Hollow dark waters, city Tayr-Besyl
  • Run into fisherman
    • WormFord flooded days ago
  • We head to WormFord
  • Evil cutlists of water brought chest to center of town and left it then sailed away
    • They sailed north
  • Blue orb came out then turned to dust
  • Chest locked away now (magic evocation)
  • We decide to help the town then head north after the scoundrels
  • Ghouls attack us
    • Loganth culed 5, Smitty almost blinded (paralyzed though)
  • Enter pirate base
    • Enter water cave (bombed tunnel from last time Loganth expertly covered our escape)
    • 2-3 miles long into the tunnel, we arrive to Tayr-Besyl
  • Spot a marble platform (dwarven made)
    • Cultists spot us and attack (one even jumps in the water to ride a freakin’ shark!)
  • Find a makeshift prison guard room w/bedrolls and window slit looking onto canal
  • Open room with 6 baddies in it, we kill the fools
  • Find a bridge over running water (the canal)
  • Find a locked door leads to two silos that used to store greain (each about 5 feet ring, 30ft deep)
  • Find another guard post, but with 5 baddies (1 blue eyes bastard w/beard casts stupid magic but sucks balls) and we kill them too.

The end.

Session 17: Booty and the Beast
by Kilrin

Temple of Howling Hatred

The tale begins with our adventurers exploring what remained of the Temple. In doing so, they defeated an umberhulk and vanquish a group of ghouls. After wards, the group examined the giant purple worm skeleton they had discovered earlier. Upon closer inspection they realized that the worm was in fact a passage way, but to where? They didn’t know. Not being able to see the bottom of the hollowed out worm skeleton, the group decided they were not cool enough to explore it and went back to the spire.


When they arrived at the spire, they were greeted by the Aarakocra who appeared to be enjoying their new home. After talking to them for a while, they hit the sack. The next morning, they were all waiting excitedly for Captain Smitty’s famous aarakocra & cheese omelette when they heard a loud knock on the entrance to the spire. In the moments that followed the knock, the group of adventurers’ contemplated all the possible terrors that waited in front of the spire’s entrance. After questioning their visitor they quickly realized that their greatest fears were becoming reality: He was a door to door salesman. You conquer a spire in the middle of Istishia-damn nowhere and you still can’t escape them. The traveling salesman’s name was Alomar. He spoke with flowery words and played the lute. He had happened upon the spire and wished to show us his wares. Unsure of his intentions, the group had him setup outside while they finished our breakfast.

Alomar talked, a lot, but unfortunately his merchandise didn’t live up to his grandiose descriptions. It was basically just a bunch of souvenirs and trinkets. Just as the group was about to head back insde, Alomar caught their attention with one final item. He claimed it was a treasure map. The item he had for all to see was a metal tube covered in intricate carvings of seashells, fish, turtles and waves. Smitty was unable to turn down an adventure, and, enamored by its shininess, Drongar, through a miracle of Istishia, traded a jar of foul smelling orange mud for it.

Upon examining the metal tube, Nasaug suspected there was something not quite right with it, possibly a trap? Smitty, through logic and reason, decided that the only reasonable next step was to take off all his clothes and attempted to open the tube. His nimbleness prevailed and he was able to open the tube. Inside was a scroll emerged in water. We emptied the water and scroll into a bowl, but it was blank. Kilrin, with his rugged good looks and quick thinking, suggested looking for another compartment on the metal tube that contained the scroll. On the bottom another compartment was discovered that contained a handful of salt. The adventurers’ mix the salt into the water and a treasure map slowly appeared in front of their eyes.

Smitty’s Cove

The group trekked to Smitty’s Voice and sailed up the Dessarin River toward the “X” on the treasure map. At the destination, there was nothing but a large rock face. Convinced they were cheated by the salesman, the group prepare to head back to the spire. Just as they were about to pack up the map, a willow wisp sprang from it and flied through the rock face. The will-o-wisp insisted they follow it…

Upon further examination they determined that the large rock face was in fact an illusion. They sailed the boat through the rock face and Nasag casted water walk on the party. Behind the rock face was a beach. On the left side of the beach was a large rotting ship wreck, while directly in the center of the beach was a river leading further inland with large cliffs on either side of it. The group decided to bring the ship near shore and set anchor so they could explore the area. Just as Kilrin began to expertly pilot the ship toward shore, I giant squid attempted to attack Smitty’s Voice. But Kilrin’s captaining expertise was far too superior and he easily evaded the attack. The squid disappeared back into the river. It was then that Kilrin noticed the water was astoundingly deep here.

Upon investigating the ship wreck, our adventurers were attacked by a horde of undead skeletons. Smitty, The First of His Name, Wordsmith, Lord of Flamboyance, Protector of the Realm, Mother of Dragons easily dispatches the bulk of them with a well-placed fire ball. After searching the ship they found the captains log which explained that the crew was also in search of the treasure when they were attacked by a giant squid as they approached the shore.

The group then decided to walk inland along the river. After a few hundred feet, they found a camp with a few huts and a cooking pit. In the trees surrounding the camp were, what looked like, undead monkeys.

They then decided to head further inland along the river using water walk. After a while they came across a large waterfall that concealed a cave. Upon entering, the group immediately noticed an immense tree house directly in the centre of the cave.
Inside the treehouse the group found a looking glass pointing directly at the rock face they had come through. Drongar decided to pick up the looking glass and use it to look further into the cave. With it, he discovered a large set of doors guarded by several murlocs and crabs.

The adventures attacked the group of sahuagin and giant crabs. Smitty summons Chimcham and shouts “Noses”. Chimcham ferociously mauls the enemy and the group emerges victorious. He collects their noses and wore them proudly. In an effort to reveal the mystery of this place, Smitty decides to communicate with their downed foes. Coupled with a tongues spell, he casts speak with the dead in order to extract important information from the shaman sahuagin. What is the most dangerous thing here? Smitty asks. The Skeleton King. What traps should we be aware of? He traps his treasure… After a bit of healing, the party entered the mysterious doors and found a piano playing itself. The party walked further into the keep and were confronted with what looked like a Skeleton Pirate King and several skeleton minions.

The adventurers worked together and with Drongar holy smite made short work of them. The party was rewarded with 4 treasure chests and a new and improved HQ.


Imagine a reality of total darkness. Imagine, for a second, that your conscious mind was stuck in an empty void with no sense of time or space, simply waiting and wishing for even a second of freedom. Then, with no warning, after waiting for what seems like eternity, you are thrown from the darkness into the horrors of battle. You come to your senses and see your master looking you straight in the eye. You know you can’t deny him, you know that your current terrifying and bloody freedom will be taken from you if you disobey. And freedom from darkness is part of your core, your DNA, you will do anything to preserve it, to escape that hell. Your master opens his mouth and shouts “NOSES”. You’ve heard this command before and know exactly what must be done. You furiously attack your master’s enemies, clawing at their faces, and smashing them to pulp. As you savagely beat them, you think to yourself “What’s the point. No matter how many noses I collect, I will always end up in the same darkness when I am done. Master will never be satisfied. He will never have enough noses. ” Then, as you finish tearing the limbs from one of your master’s enemies, you attempt to dodge an incoming attacker. It’s too late and you return to the darkness. When will master call again, when will you have a chance for your next bloody freedom.

Session 16: Temple of Howling Hatred part II
by Smitty the Wordsmith

War of the Stars
Based on the tale of Altair, Djinni of the Seven Stormed Lands
Adapted by Smitty the Wordsmith

[Smitty enter stage Left]

Smitty’s soliloquy
What makes an adventurer? Is it facing danger head on without hesitation? Perhaps it is the quest for fame and fortune? Or even still, it might be the defence of the weak or innocent. Perhaps the truest form of adventurer simply does not stop and consider definitions through thought, but instead through actions. I am Smitty, bard by trade, but adventurer to the very core. Gather round and I will tell you a tale of the actions my compatriots and I have done, then perhaps you fair viewers may stop and consider through thought and contemplation what an adventurer truly is.

[Smitty exit stage left]

Prestidigitation smoke with faint musical notes]
[Large parchment comes up from floor dispenser (mage handed) and wrapped around receiver cylinder at the top to create scrolling text]

A long time ago In a galaxy far,
far away….

Princes of the Apocalypse

Session XVI
Temple of Howling Hatred part II

Captain Bashar and his group of adventurers find themselves in a dire situation. Air cultists who have claimed the dwarven ruins of the ancient city of Tyar-Besil surround our heroes and prepare to attack. Aerisi Kalinoth, their leader, fled the scene as Smitty’s recently summoned Djinn, Altair, watches on as our heroes attempt to dispatch their enemies. The silver tongued bard delivers the most logical course of action for the would be foes to take, to give up, for their mistress would not be as forgiving as they would be. Windharrow, who heads the fanatics, does not see the light and so Bashar’s band is forced to defend itself.

Six cultists and one air elemental spring to attack

Grugain quick thinker that he is, temporarily banishes the air elemental, the rest of the group is able to take care of the the feather robed cultists. Their ineptitude to strike our heroes is a blessing none should forget. When the air elemental returns, Altair, Djinni of the Seven Stormed Lands, moves and sends the evil elemental back from which he came as he plunges his hand within the center of the monster, causing it to vanish. Two injured cultists survive the ordeal, but are about to wish they had not.


Before our friends are able to interrogate the lucky survivors and rest up, there is a distinct knock at the pyramid door. A wyvern riding guard demands entrance after the commotion alerts him. A few words and failure to convince him that all is well inside, and that they were fine, everything is fine and how was he?… the guard has the door bashed in by his dragon to a waiting ambush. The adventurers attack, and though the wyvern’s deadly tail hits its target more than once, our heroes manage beat down the oncoming threat. In the end, Grugain with his Eldritch blast and pushback ability manages to push the dying dragon, and trapped guard, into the moat which surrounds to pyramid. The guard splashes, gurgles, bubbles…and is no more.

Captain Bashar moves in for a chat with the two now tied up cultists. After a bit of convincing, and one cultist no longer with them, his friend informs the group of an air vent which leads to the air node, the Howling Caves, the source of the Prophets Power. These caves are below, the Fane of the Eye, a nexus of sorts and an effective neutral ground between all the evil cults. This information will prove valuable, but for another time. When asked about the unexplored section of the ruined city, the cultists simply says that no one really goes there. It is a bazaar which is infested with deadly creatures that the cultists dare not disturb. With no more use, Bashar mercilessly dispatches the remaining cultist. Our heroes in need of rest trek back to the living quarters that are now empty, and with the Djinn they rest while Smitty makes his wish.

Smitty is never one to pass the opportunity for stories. Altair, ancient as he is, must hold great tales to astonish. Smitty makes his demand without hesitation; tell us the greatest story you have ever heard. The Djinn informs of an amazing war among the stars which holds such wonder that none can turn their gaze away (Star Wars Episodes IV, V and VI). As the hour of rest passes, so too does the Djinn’s tale end. After the task is complete, Altair is to return to his plane for 101 years until he is summoned again by the horn. Smitty passes the horn from which the Djinn emerged to Drongar, who smashes it to bits. The Djinn is now free, and as thanks rewards our heroes with bottled breath. Nasaug and Drongar with the noblest of gestures also bring our friends back from the brink as best they can. If a rightful cleric were present, it would be easy, but the sacrifices made by the Druid and Paladin do not go unnoticed.

Unsure of where to go next, Captain Bashar leads the group to a previous room which held giant pinwheels, which Bashar believes controls the water level within the Palace district of Tyar-Besil. The two cultists from earlier are still there. Grugain, still in cultists disguise, steps forward drops his robe and explains simply in a matter of fact tone that the slaves who turn the wheels within this room, are now free. The presence of the Drow, shocking and bold simply stun the cultists, and our band of explorers surprise them with the first move. After a quick exchange of blows, one of the cultists falls dead, but not without first damaging Grugain to an impressive degree. Grugain attempts to take back the vitality which was taken from him but to no avail. Bashar with a powerful throw and deadly precision, pins the last cultist to the wall with his javelin.

Iron Golem

After reviewing the wheels and speaking with the freed slaves, our heroes discover the wheels indeed control the water levels within the district. When lowering the water within the moat where the wyvern and guard fell in, they discover a large wandering dwarven Iron Golem patrolling the bottom of the moat. Smitty steps up and attempts to reason with the automaton and extracts the essentials. The golem is to protect the moat and its treasures from anyone who does not hold the coveted words to his command. Through gestures alone, as it does not speak, the golem makes it clear that the adventurers are not welcome until they speak the magic words. Since the golem belonged to those who originally resided in the pyramid, the Royal family of Besilmer, our group makes a final sweep in an effort to find a clue as to the secret words, but to no avail. Time for a bit of shopping at the local bazaar.

The group travels south of the pyramid and crosses a bridge which sees an enormous statue of Moradin, creator of the Dwarves. The statue shines brightly as a permanent fixture of the great accomplishments of the Dwarven race. It proves so bright that Grugain has trouble seeing, as his eyes are meant for the darker places of the world. Continuing on, Bashar’s band comes upon two air cultist Priests and two Kenku. Seeing an opportunity to end the good doers quest, a priest moves to one side and delivers a lightning bolt, dealing enormous damage to our heroes and destroying one of the Kenku which stood in his way. The heroes move in, singed but ready for action and create short work of their enemies. Before the end, a Priest manages to turn invisible and our heroes unable to locate him, return to the task of exploring the rooms. Smitty does not move, fearing the wrath of a foe that goes unseen, he attempts to locate him through his other senses but to no avail. Nasaug in bear form attempts to track him by scent, but comes up with nothing as he slashes frantically at the air. Bashar, Captain of our band, hones his senses and listens…THERE behind them! Bashar rushes without sight, but dares the Priest to show his face and at that moment another lightning bolt hits our brave leader. Bashar is no stranger to pain presses on and delivers a powerful blow. Weakened and visible, the priest is cut down by Nasaug’s savage advance.


Believing to be clear of present danger, the party continues to investigate the abandoned shops of the Bazaar. At first the search for loot proves to be fruitless. Moth ridden cloaks, rancid rats pollute the floors and it all seems chilling, but rather boring. Grugain moves into an old jeweller’s shop. Some of the tools appear to be usable, and upon investigating what appears to be a cloak in passable condition it STRIKES! The camouflaged cloaker wraps its deadly grasp around Grugains head, ambushing him. After our band of adventurers attempt to react to the situation, the cloaker releases a frightful moan. It’s intention to frighten is as good a guess as any, but with Smitty’s heroic words, no fear dares seep into the minds of his compatriots, and so the effect hoped by the cloaker is lost, and none shall wait 24 hours to find out for sure what it is. Drongar steps forward and helps Grugain break free, but not before Bashar makes a more trouble knot to untangle. Despite the setback, Grugain is freed and due to his chill armor manages to bite back at the cloaker, dealing a frost damage to anything which attempts to touch him. Nasaug, not seeing any room to help his friends, moves to another shop. There too stands a cloak lying in wake…and it attacks! Nasaug turns into his bear form in order to break free. The cloakers are outnumbered but deadly none the less. They create illusions of themselves, confusing its attackers as to which is the true cloaker. Grugain kills two imaginary cloakers, Drongar and Nasaug retreat to avoid the deadly grasp of the cloakers. Bashar, in a brash attempt to disadvantage one of the monsters grapples it and drags it into Moradin’s light. It screeches in pain, breaks free from Bashar’s grasp and retreats into its hiding place. The second cloaker does the same. With mage hands at the ready, Smitty closes the doors and our adventurers choose to avoid needless confrontations; our heroes are battered, and in need of a full rest. Before rest can be granted however, Bashar wishes to unveil the remainder of the Palace District, there is a chance these explorations may still hold treasure.

The party moves on from the shops to the east and discovers an umber hulk. It has not noticed our heroes and so our heroes choose not to notice IT and move back, their curiosity satisfied. In the western part of the Bazaar, an abandoned Drinking Hall, dry as a bone, waits for patrons that are never returning. A bit further, a strange shrine to a dead Great Wyrm whose remains come jutting out of the ground in a tragic and eerie presentation. This place holds stories, far too many to tell in one sitting. Join us as our heroes delve deeper into the mystery and adventure of the Princes of Elemental Evil…

Session 15: Temple of Howling Hatred
by Nasaug
Cat stealing money

Out of nowhere, a ghostly presence passes through the party and steal all our money. Just as we realize what’s going on a pile of gold drops in front of each adventurer. We each receive: 1552 gp, 100 sp, 2 cp

After defeating the fire cultists we travel back down the coast to our boat, Smitty’s Voice. We decide after all the recent adventure we need to resupply. Kilrin suggests we sail to Waterdeep. A couple days later we arrive to this scene:

Waterdeep at night

== Waterdeep: Jewel of the North ==

Shopping Montage
  • Nasaug, Kilrin, Fendira, Smitty and Grugain all buys some scrolls and potions
  • Kilrin and Smitty buy a ballista for the ship
  • Drongar buys some plate armor and helps out at a forge

After seeing this large city, with all its unique little shops and boutique stores, we realize this is the perfect market to break into with Krausen Pickles®. Knowing we won’t have the time to manage the day-to-day details we decide to interview salesman. We find a rather refined gentleman, Jeeves, who sees our briney vision! He agrees to work for us for 3 months signing bars and stores up for vendor agreements. Since we won’t be in Waterdeep he will also establish trade routes from Red Larch to have pickles delivered regularly.

Great library

Fendira decides to meet up with her peeps. She arranges for them to deliver her book back to the merchant in Red Larch. Her peeps arrange for her to have access to the Great Library.

Smitty tries to find an expert to review his map. He asks around and finds out a super old man at the library might be able to help him. Smitty finds him in the back studying a huge pile of books. The old man recognizes the map as the ancient city of Tyar Besil. The old man pours an odd liquid metal on the map and reveals hidden Dwarvian writing along the outside of the map.

Meanwhile, Fendira has been tirelessly studying anything she can find on the ancient elemental planes or the elemental cults. She finds out each element has their own plane ruled by a Prince or Princess:

  • Fire: Imix, Prince of evil elemental Fire, Fire Lord Imix, Lord of Hellfire and the Eternal Flame.
  • Water: Olhydra, Princess of Evil Water, the Crushing Wave and the Well of Endless Anguish
  • Earth: Ogremoch, Prince of Evil Earth, Tyrant of the Black Earth and Mountain of Doom
  • Air: Yan-C-Bin, Prince of Evil Air, Shadow of the Four Winds, and The Howling Hatred
Fendira Studying

However, Fendira can’t find much information on the cults. Just that changes in the weather are common when summoning elemental beings.

Kilrin decides to head to the docks and ask around about Shatterkeel Gar. He finds lots of stories, but they all sound like Tall tales. They all seem to have a common theme of the sword coast being a dangerous place until Shatterkeel Gar just disappears.

== Red Larch ==

After two weeks in Waterdeep, we head back to Red Larch. We dock the boat at Bargewright Inn and travel the remainder of the journey to Red Larch on foot. When we arrive in Red Larch we discover, our good friend, the wagon wright won the mayoral election. With new contracts on the way, Drongar hires a manager to help Krausen manage Krausen’s Pickles® in Red Larch. With all our preparation finished, we can’t put it off the elemental cults any longer. We set out for Logath’s tower and the chasm the elemental air cult escaped too.

== At Logath’s tower ==

After receiving earlier reports from the scouts we are please to discover the tower hasn’t been taken over by the air element cults, but Arakokra . We agree to share possession of the tower. The Arakokra agree to live in the bottom of the tower and Logath’s guard will stick to the top floors. To help give the Arakokra more space Logath’s guard is helping them dig out the bottom floors. After we explain our plan to track the air elemental cultists, the Arakokra agree to fly us down into the Chasm.

== At Chasm ==
Arriving at the Chasm we find an ancient abandoned dwarf city. Studying the architecture and Smitty’s map we realize this is one of the secret entrances into Tyar Besil. Drongar finds the door and tries to push it open. Fails. Kilrin cracks his knuckles, walks up to the door, and pushes on it. The door doesn’t budge. Nasaug suddenly transforms into a Polar Bear and rushes the door. Fails. Finally, Fendira, using a single finger, pushes on the other side of the door and it swings wide open.

After opening the door, we hear wailing and moaning sounds coming from deep within the passage. Sneaking forward we find 3 air cultists tied to obelisks in a passage. They appear emaciated. We walk up to them and they tell us mad ravings about eating air for nourishment.


We open a nearby door and discover a group of bird-like things, a group of Kenku. Smitty, thinking quickly, casts fireball on the bird-people. They erupt in flame and their charred bones drop to the floor. Truly impressive. Maybe Smitty should be the lord of fire…..


From a door close by, we hear music player – terrible music – but we head over to investigate anyway. We open the door and find a small group of musicians performing music for a woman, named Windharrow. Windharrow informs us she’s trying to train musicians to perform for their leader. Smitty sells our group as traveling performers. Windharrow tells us we can practice in the barrack rooms, and gives us some cultists robes – giving us the perfect opportunity to explore the dungeon.

We explore the dungeon, going room by room. It is pretty uneventful. Most barrack’s are very basic – containing a table, bed, and storage locker. After searching a half dozen rooms we find a hall with a beautiful marble floor. At the end of hall a Altair, Djinni of the Seven Stormed Lands is clearing rock away. He waves his hand and the marble floor extends forward into the cleared space.

Altair, Djinni of the Seven Stormed Lands

The party seems to be taken aback. I walk up to the Altairas a polar bear and start helping dig and clear rocks. The Djinn looks over and asks why I am digging. He immediately recognizes me as a Druid. I transform back into my human form and ask him why such a majestic creature would be working to clear rocks. He explains that the air leader possess his horn. He is enslaved to whoever blows the horn. Once every 101 years – he must perform one task until it is complete before he can return to his home Plane of Air. He introduces himself as Altair, and after a short discussion, we see that he has no love for the Prophet of Air. He gives us lots of information on the temple, and also asks us to defeat the Prophet so that he may be freed from his never ending task of return the temple to its former glory.

Not delaying further, we head to the center of the dungeon and discover a giant pyramid. The guards let us pass after discovering we are musicians wanting to perform for their leader. We get to thedoors and find them locked. Smitty takes out his lock pick tools and opens the doors. Inside we find several priests levitating a few feet off the floor, deep in meditation, and 2 staircases going to an upper level. We walk by the priests and go up the stairs to a large chamber. Inside the chamber is a throne room, with a miniature replica of the city made of granite in the floor. Here we find the air leader and several of her guards and priests.


She asks us why we are there. Smitty explains that we wish to perform for her. We take out our instruments and begin to play. It sounds ear piercing. Everyone plugs their ears and yells for us to stop. We really, really should have practiced. The air leader appears to be fuming and orders her guards to kill us.

Thinking quickly, Fendira casts web on the back half of the room. The guards around us rush forward and a battle ensues. Seeing the Djinn’s horn at the back of the room I cast summon creatures. Two giant spiders appear close to the horn. I order them to retrieve the horn and bring it back to me. While we are fighting the priests the spiders manage to get the horn to Smitty. Smitty blows the horn hoping the Djinn will appear and help us.


Realizing how strong our party is, the air leader turns into a gas cloud and escapes through a crack in the wall. We make quick work of the remaining priests and guards. Just as we finish the last enemy the Djinn appears and asks what we desire….

Session 14: Smoking is bad for your elk
As told by the Great and Honourable Drongar

As we huddle behind a giant tower in disrepair we see a fire elemental take form out of the mage’s bonfire.

“Oh Fuck.”

Smitty dumps his sack on the ground and reaches around inside urgently. Eventually he pulls out a odd looking sailor’s cap and puts it on. I guess that means he is ready for battle.

Scarlet Moon Hall

Scarlet Moon Hall

We notice 3 guards patrolling the scaffolding along the building. We discuss what to do and decide the guards are too dangerous to leave alone and decide we will try and sneak up on them and kill them before the battle begins.

We split up Smitty, Nausag, and The Great and Honourable Drongar will take out the two guards on the west while Bashar and Kilrin take out the guards on the east.

The Great and Honourable Drongar reaches the top of the scaffolding first and quickly takes out the first guard. Skewering him on his longsword. Nausag, as a giant spider, is next to act and sneaks up behind the other guard on the west and strikes him with his poison claws.

Meanwhile, on the east side Bashar and Kilrin are ready for their attack. Bashar rushes forward and slams his Candy cane maul into the unexpecting foe. While the enemy falls to his death off the scaffolding he fires off his crossbow alerting the mages and elemental to our attack.

Plans are hardly worth the effort to make.

We notice Druid’s begin to be brought into the camp towards the bonfire. It looks like the mage’s plan to sacrifice them for whatever evil plans they have in store.

While The Great and Honourable Drongar finishes off the remaining sentry atop the scaffolding Nausag moves to the edge and summons 8 fae in the form of Elks. They rush the mages in an attempt to prevent these druid sacrifices. The Elks charge forward and ram the enemy mages pushing one to the ground with their fierce attack.

One of the mages, who appears to be more experienced than the rest, notices Nausag’s attack and launches a fireball at our group atop the scaffolding. Most manage to dodge the attack but The Great and Honourable Drongar laughs at fire at takes it full on.

The fire elemental moves to the east side of the tower and attacks Bashar, lighting his armor on fire. Bashar swings his maul at the elemental and it appears his new Candy Cane Maul has a greater effect than most on the unnatural elemental. As the scaffolding begins to burn and crumble Kilrin fires a guided bolt at the elemental before making his way back down to the ground.

Smitty throws a red and white ball into the air while screaming, “I choose you. The form of… a Brown Bear”. A giant brown bear appears from the ball looking slightly confused. Taking his bearings (get it?) he will be ready to attack the next turn.

The Elks continue to assault the mages, however one of the Druid’s could not be saved and is thrown into the fire. His skin seems to burn at an unnatural pace, slowly cracking and showing a red hot glow emerging from underneath. Suddenly in a burst of light another elemental appears in the fire, although this one smaller than the original.

Bashar and the Elemental continue their fray when abruptly the elemental rushes forward into Bashar’s own body. By the bonfire one of the mages rushes into a nearby tent. After a few seconds two Hellhounds emerge from inside and rush toward the east scaffolding where Kilrin finally reaches ground.



Nausag, consumed by rage from what these fire mages are doing to his like, transforms into a dire wolf and rushes into the battle.

Still consumed by the elemental Bashar takes a desperate act to free himself. He rushes towards the edge of the scaffolding and leaps off. Rolling in the air he frees himself from the elementals grasp but hits the ground hard. With reflexes one can only gain from years of battle he immediately grabs a spear and throws it at the mini-elemental wounding him gravely while still aflame himself.

The Great and Honourable Drongar and Smitty are finally able to join the fray. The Great and Honourable Drongar rushes towards the Hellhounds and the giant elementals that have now begun their assault on Nausag and Kilrin. Smitty stays back but plays a tune putting one of the mages to sleep.

Elks be Elking. Bear be Bearing.

Kilrin taking multiple attacks from the hellhounds is looking a little worse for wear. As I arrive I caste Sanctuary on him to help protect him from the enemies while taking multiple hits from the hellhounds and the giant elemental. But The Great and Honourable Drongar laughs at their puny flame attacks calling upon the power of Torm he chants an oath turning his weapon into a golden sun.

Bashar lands a killing blow on the fire elemental while Kilrin castes Mass Healing Word on the party.

Battle continues. The hellhounds group up and attack Nausag using their numbers to enhance their attacks against the druid. Bashar fights the fire mages. The Great and Honourable Drongar fights the giant elemental. Kilrin desperately attempts to heal the party to keep people alive. Smitty sings a song or something.

Elks be Elking. Bear be Bearing.

As the mages numbers continue to dwindle the strongest of the mages lights himself on fire in a desperate act. Smitty, despite the chaos of battle manages to land a strategic sleep on one of the hellhounds allowing Nausag to finally land a killing blow on the one left standing.

The elks numbers continued to fall until one elk remained. Songs will be sung of this brave creature for it’s courage knew no bounds. Barely able to stand, he rushes forward to the last remaining mage covered in flames. In a desperate attempt, with the last of his strength, he puts everything he has left into one final ram and delivers a death blow to the final mage. Soaked in the blood of his enemies the elk releases a battle cry for his fallen comrades, “Nah naaaaaahhhh NAAAHHHH”.

Bashar joins the battle against the fire elemental. Things are starting to look alright and none of our party will die in this battle.

When suddenly the tower’s doors explode out into the camp. A druid riding a giant minotaur emerge from the building yelling, “You will pay for interrupting our ceremony for it is I, Elizar Dryflagon.”

Elizar Dryflagon

Elizar Dryflagon

An elks work is never done. Our heroic elk pushes himself to his feet and rushes towards the giant minotaur knowing this would be his last moments in this world. He rams into the minotaur giving everything he had left and more. The druid snaps his fingers sending a wave a magic towards the elk setting him aflame and sending him back from where he came.

The Great and Honourable Drongar receives more attacks from the giant elemental. Laughing at his sad attempts at attacks he jabs his sword straight through the elementals flaming essence sending him back to where he came. The elementals bracers fall to the ground and turn to ash.

The minotaur spots Bashar and recklessly charges towards him. Bashar manages to just barely stay on his feet while receiving grievous wounds from the attack. In an instant the druid summons a Wall of Flame around them further damaging Bashar.



Nausag and Kilrin pull back from the burning flames and caste healing spells to attempt to keep the party alive. Bashar trapped in the fire circle swings wildly at the minotaur.

The Great and Honourable Drongar, seeing Bashar in a desperate situation, jumps through the punny wall of fire taking negligible damage. Then unleashing attack after attack calling forth all the power available to him he takes out the minotaur. Unable to keep his balance Elizar falls prone on the ground.

Taking the opportunity to it’s full advantage Bashar strikes at Elizar with a massive blow followed up by another attack by The Great and Honourable Drongar.

Smitty, eventually tired of this battle castes sleep on Elizar to end the battle.

Elizar suffered terrible wounds from the attacks and dies in his sleep.

Session 13.2: Nasaug goes postal
by Nasaug

It came to my attention that I forgot to mention a couple small details in the last log entry.

Although we didn’t find any information about the delegation in Wormford we did pick up on a trail of Druid’s. They placed an order at the general store for ritual ingredients to create a fire spell. The store owner showed us the symbol they carried. We offered to deliver the ingredients for the owner, charging only a small fee, hoping this might lead us to information about the delegation. The owner informs us the goods were to be delivered to Thelorn’s Safe Journey in Red Larch. With a new lead we set out at once to Red Larch.


Suspected fire symbol

After half a tenday we arrive in Red Larch. We head to the wagon maker shop, Thelorn’s Safe Journey, to delivery the ingredients. The wagon shop owner, Elisar Dryflyer, explains that the druids asked him to forward the package to their camp at Scarlet Moon Hall. I expertly negotiate a 3 gold fee to finish delivery of the package to Scarlet Moon Hall – hoping the delivery will allow us access to the camp to investigate the druids.

While in Red Larch, Loganth receives a message that the spire has been taken over by bird people. Later on, Oliver informs us the Aarakocra have taken over the tower and the soldiers have made camp outside for now.

Approaching dusk we head out to the Scarlet Moon Camp. On the road we encounter a couple hell hounds but to deal with them relatively safely. As we arrive closer to the camp we find a group of 12 guards patrolling the area. I cast Pass without trace on the party and we successfully sneak by without them noticing.

Scarlet Moon Hall

Scarlet Moon Hall

Arriving at Scarlet Moon Camp Oliver is able to provide us a map of the area from scouting trips he performed – saving us a huge amount of time. We walk right up to the gates and notify them we are here to delivery a package to their commander. They tell us we will have to leave the package with the guards as the commander is busy. We refusing to hand the package to anyone but the commander herself. However, it doesn’t work and we notify the guards that if the commander wants her package she will have to find us in the camps outside the tower.

We decide to investigate the camps outside the tower to discover any information about what the druids are doing. We are largely unsuccessful as most of the people only know the druids are trying to cast a spell to fix the weather. No one has any details or has meet anyone inside. However, we do find a female elf from my enclave (Emerald Enclave). She is able to provide us with some scrolls, but can’t offer any other assistance.

We decide to break into the camp once the sunsets to investigate for ourselves. The map Oliver provided showed a large section of the tower wall that has broken apart at the back. We were able to sneak in through that wall section successfully thanks to my pass without trace spell. Not wanting to be spotted I turn into a spider and climb the outside of the tower to investigate guard patrols. When I get to the top of the tower I discover something terrible.

Fire Elemental

Fire Elemental

The druid ritual spell was finished. When I reach the top of the tower I see a giant wicker statue transform before my eyes into a giant fire elemental. As he emerges the guards armor burst into flame …

Priest and Guards

Priest and Guards

Session 13.1: Pickles and brine
by Nasaug

Having successfully raided the pirate base and acquired our new ship we set out back to Wormford to investigate the missing delegation. Upon arrival to Wormford, we unexpectedly ran into a familiar face. Krausen was there selling pickles! He took our advise and decided to start charging people money. However, one thing was very clear – he still had no idea what he was doing. He was charging a single copper for a pickle – he couldn’t possibly be making profit with a price like that.

Delicious pickles

Seeing an opportunity, we realized no matter where we went Krausen’s pickles were a huge hit. If they were marketed and priced properly a thrifty person, or persons, could make a small fortune manufacturing, distributing and selling pickles throughout the entire Dessarin Valley. Thinking quickly we asked Krausen if he would like to travel back to Red Larch with us while we discussed the possibility of helping each other out. He jumped at the opportunity and we set out for Red Larch together.

Arriving in Red Larch we had a plan. We bought Krausen some barrels so he could start increasing manufacturing. Next, we needed to create a demand. We visited the local tavern and asked if he had any of Krausen’s pickles – know full well he didn’t. We let him know that NO OTHER pickle would do. It HAD to be a Krausen pickle.

We realized if this plan was going to be successfully we’d need to partner with local farms to get access to more cucumbers. Remembering how useful the street kids could be we paid them as messengers to send letters to nearby farms looking for potential partners. With the plan really starting to come together we all took a break and ate one of the most delicious things any of us had ever had…


Session 12 - I want to suck your Santa
As told by the heroic and honourable Drongar Dofras.

Chapter 1

We begin our adventure sailing north on the River Deserian. After Grugain looks to ensure that no one is following us we all begin to go about our own business. Grugain oils his sword, Fendira cleans out her pack and Drongar fantically writes what is going on in his notebook while mumbling, “Why me!? Why did it have to be me?!”.


As Fendira flips her bag of holding inside out to clean it. On the inside the bag is red with a white rim around the top. Suddenly the bag grabs hold of her and appears to try to suck her inside. Grugain leaps over and grabs her but they both end up inside the sack.

Nausag runs over and attacks the bag with his staff. As he hits the bag his staff remains stuck inside but he manages to barely yank it out using all his strength. The bag leaps towards Kilrin and swallows him whole.

Drongar puts down his notebook and quill and runs over towards the bag. As he approaches the bag he unleashes a blast of fire. The bag dodges out of the way and the fire appears to have little effect. He then attempts to communicate to the bag, telling it to release his friends but the bag didn’t care and swallowed him as well.

Nasaug looks from the bag to the sky and frantically writes “Help! Ate by bag.” in the sky before he too is eaten by the red and white bag.

Chapter 2

We awake in a world of snow with a blizzard whipping in our faces and it chills us all to our bones. Beside us appears the same red and white bag. The bag leaps at us but misses his attack. He turns around and puffs into a cloud of smoke.

Looking around the world seems unnatural. The moons don’t look right, the mountains appear to move while looking at them, odd smells waft in and out with seemingly no source. It’s evident we aren’t in the material plane anymore.

Grugain has read about this place before. He believes we are in The Abyss. The Abyss is where the literally energies of chaotic evil are made real, demons run amok in this plane… Having not died he believes we must (luckily) be in one of the first few layers. Some of most dangerous creatures in existence, the various Demon Lords, rule and battle over the lower levels. He goes on to say that The Abyss is where the Imprisoned One was trapped.


Most Bags of Holding are linked to a pocket of extra-dimensional space, however this bag seems much, much more.

Nasaug hears clinking coming from afar, and we can see glimpses of light coming from the distance. It must be a village and with this cold we need to get somewhere inside and out of the weather.

As we approach the town it seems very out of place for one of the layers of hell. The houses are made of gingerbread and icing. The light posts and trees are made of gumdrops and tinsel. The only sign of life in the town appears to be a factory with stained glass windows and smoke pouring out of it’s stack.


We manage to climb on a ridge and peer inside the factory. Inside we see small chain of little men w/ pointy ears being forced into labour by Quasits. Quasits are supposedly a form of low level demons.


Christmas elves

Chapter 3

Things do not make sense here and we decide we need more information. Grugain stealthy walks off to find out more about this village. His investigation leads him to a house that looks like it was cut in half. Frost covers the house that is open to the inside.

On his way back he get a closer look at the factory. Inside he sees what appears to be elves chained to their desks, making things. He sees three Quasits supervising them and one appears to have horns. Some of them appear to have a symbol on their clothing. He knows it was the symbol of Zura.

As Grugain tells us all that he learns we hear a wolf making it’s way towards us in the snow. We believe it is still fairly far away but it is getting closer.

As we run towards the closest house Nasaug castes Pass without Trace. As we run our tracks through the snow magically fill in behind us. We arrive at the biggest house in the village and no one appears to be home, so we let ourselves in. There doesn’t appear to be much inside, but there is a picture of a jolly old man dressed in a red suit on their mantle.

Chapter 4

After warming up we decide we must help these imprisoned elves and figure out what is going on in this town. He head over to the factory.

When we reach it I make a quick pass around the outside using my Divine Sense to see if I can locate any additional Quasits. My senses show my four Quasits and what appears to be consecrated ground that is slowly being chipped away.



We prepare for storming their front door. We buff up and Nasaug summons two Fey creatures who turn into black bears.


Nasaug opens the doors to what looks like Santa’s workshop in great disrepair. Nasaug runs across the factory floor towards the horned Quasits while his Fey creatures run towards two more on the floor.

Fendira casts Lightning Bolt on a man standing by himself. He turns out to be a Teifling with large front fangs.

Drongar runs inside the factory and kicks part of the front door against the wall. Blood oozes out from under the door, crushing the hidden and invisible Quasit hidding there.

We quickly deal with the rest of the Quasits and take the Teilfing prisoner. Fendira starts freeing the elves from their chains. The elves desperately want to kill the Teifling but we manage to convince them to hold off their attacks. The mayor, Candy, and her husband Cane convince them to go to their homes. However, Candy and Cane stay to watch.

Nasaug castes Charm Person on the Teilfing and I try to heal them to wake them up. The Teifling instantly turns to ash. Nasaug recognizes it as a divine blessing from their god, or in this case, more like a curse.

Candy and Cane about how they were imprisoned. They say that a creature summoned their town and them here and has kidnapped Saint Snicksnick, Santa, to try and take over his powers. Santa was taken to the tower on the top of Mount Peak. We will need to climb the cliffs to get there but they say they can lend us climbing gear to get up there.

They also give us some treats for our journey. The most amazing Kirkland ginger cookies that fill us with christmas spirit!

Chapter 5

After a short rest we head out to scale the mountain. We put on our winter clothes and Nasaug castes Water Walk on us to allow us to walk on the snow.

As we approach the cliffs a vile smell wafts towards us. There appears to be a Yeti covered in shit signing a song. He seems amused by his echo by the mountains.

We attempt to sneak by, but as we attempt to Kilrin’s armor klinks. Just before he spots us Fendira castes an illusion that distracts him.

We get to the cliffs without issue and begin to scale the mountain.

Chapter 6

We arrive atop the cliffs to a castle shaped like a pine tree. We have arrived at Winterhold.

There appears to be dead Gnomes everywhere along the top of the cliffs. One seems to still be alive but he is blue from the cold. We run over and Nasaug heals him.

The Gnome speaks of being trapped in the tower for the 20 years. About how “She” is draining Saint Snik Snik’s power. He mentions how there are Ice Mephits that guard the front entrance but there is a secret entrance he knows about from the back.

The back entrance is a small path approximately two feet wide that leads up to a door. Even 20 paces back you can tell the wind coming up from the cliff is fierce. I, the amazing Drongar, approach the path first, putting climbing spikes into the wall as I go. All the members of our party are tied together in case someone happens to fall.

Looking over the massive cliff, we see that we are staring into a dismaying display of the depths of The Abyss… Staring at it almost drives you mad.


As we make our way across Grugain sees and Ice Mephit climbing the wall towards us but managed to throw him off the wall. Note to self, don’t fall off the wall. That didn’t look fun.

As we get closer to the door reality seems to skew and we are able to see around the castle to the front gate. A giant Frost Giant sits by the front door playing with Ice Mephits like children’s toys. Fendira seems extremely startled by the Frost Giant and was very glad we didn’t go that way.


A guardian frost giant waits by the front gate

We arrive at the secret door… and it’s locked. Of course it’s locked. Who would leave a secret back door open? Luckily I manage to open it with some of my blacksmith tools.

Inside the door is a small staircase leading up to a wooden wall. Upon closer inspection it seems it is the back of a bookshelf. I, the amazing Drongar, notice some peepholes in it and look inside. Inside it looks like a winter wonderland. There is a women on a throne who appears to be a succubus vampire sucking energy from Santa and a giant demon on guard. The woman explains, “Soon, once I take your place, my master and all her kind will be able to enter anyone’s house with permission on your special day of the year. Muahahahahah!”

We buff up and prepare for battle.

Chapter 7


Fendira castes Fog Cloud to block vision from the succubus while Drongar and Nasaug attacks the demon.

Meanwhile, the succubus appears behind Kilrin and attempts to seduce him. Luckily his love for his belaying pin is all he has ever wanted in life and her seduction falls on deaf ears.

The demon disappears into the fog and pummels Drongar to within an inch of his life. Just before Drongar is about to fall Nasaug lands a killing blow.

Santa appears before Fendira with an odd black helmet on his head and attempts to attack her. Fendira manages to cast magic missile and knocks the helmet off his head. Santa falls to the ground

Kilrin castes scorching ray towards the succubus . As the blast hits the succubus her eye’s burst into flame and she falls to the ground.

Do do do dooo, doo, doo, doo, do doooo!

Chapter 8

We heal Santa and he awakes. He grabs the helmet of opposite disposition and crushes it in his hand. Fendira notices a small crystal like our others inside the helm. While Santa isn’t looking she grabs it and places in the iron chest with the others.

We agree we need to get out of the tower and head back to town.

As we approach the front gates the Frost Giant sees Santa and quickly apologizes and runs off. Santa turns around and says, “I’m glad he ran away. In my current state I’m not sure how much of a fight I could put up against him. Ho, ho, ho ho.”

Santa looks down at his clothes and gives a small look of disapproval. He begins dusting himself off and his dirty red suit starts to look more and more red, less dirty white and new instead of worn. He dusts his face and a giant white beard grows back into perfect place.


“Much better”, Santa announces while pulling a sack out of his pocket. I’m glad she didn’t find this as he pulls out a sleigh from his giant red sack. We rocket down the mountain towards to the village. The sleigh has a slight smell of toasted marshmallows and hot cocoa.

When we arrive with Santa at the village all the elves (which turn out to be Gnomes) errupt in cheer. Santa declares he needs a quick rest and then he will set all right in the morning.

We party with the Gnomes all night long with cookies, milk and chocolate


The next morning we see a dome around the town and a giant christmas tree in the town square. Santa exclaims, “First… it’s present time!”


“To Nasaug”, Santa says while handing him a package. Nasaug feels the package and mumbles “Fuck it’s clothes…”, under his breath. Santa continues, “I give you a Cloak of Protection. No matter what form you take this cloak will grant you my protection.” The cloack is completely red apart from a white fur trim.

Fendira, for the little explorer in you. I give you a Wand of Magic Detection.” The wand appears to be red and white stripped like a candy cane.

“To Grugain, you’ve been a good boy this year. You’re a clever little one so I think this will be of use for you”. Grugain gains an Immovable rod that looks like a red pole with a brass topper.

“To my most favourite of all, Drongar. Defender of the weak. I think this will come in handy.” Drongar receives a Sentinel Shield. “I got this from Torm, before he was a deity mind you.” This shield looks like its made from gingerbread, and has the symbol of Torm drawn in icing sugar, but its as strong as any metal shield.

Kilrin, since you lead this band of merry men today I have a extra special present for you.” Kilrin receives Gauntlets of Ogre Power. “While wearing these you have the strength of an Ogre”. They appear to be Red and white mittens that look just like Santa’s.

Santa continues, “I have one last thing for you all before I forget.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the red magic bag that brought us here. In an instant he turns the Bag of Devouring back into a normal Bag of Holding and he hands it back to us. “This should keep you out of trouble for a while”, and gives us a wink.

A magic circle instantly appears on the ground in front of Santa and he exclaims in a booming voice, “Seasons greetings. Keep up the good fight, and to all, a good night!”.

In an instant we are back on the ship. I’d wonder if it was real if it wasn’t for the 5 feet of snow covering the deck.

Session #11 - Barrels of Fun
Of course we're not going to be pirates. We're going to be pirate kings.


The Cult of the Crushing Wave

Loganth‘s squad, upon defeating Grimjaw and his goons, stood in the room with pride as their slain enemies lie before them. Loganth quickly tossed the Captain’s hat to Smitty, placing the Admiral’s hat in its stead.

“Smitty, take the reins! I don’t want to be blamed for this mess we’ve just created for the pirates”

“Gladly! It’ll be a GRAND tale to tell!”

Fendira facepalmed at the exchange.

Suddenly, somebody burst in with a conch in hand, ready to sound the alarm. Grugain was caught unawares, only now reacting to the world ever since being turned to stone. Kilrin silenced the area, preventing the conch from being heard. Fendira then cast her Ray of Frost, Kilrin began to rap battle, and Loganth blast the enemy with a firebolt. The combination proved too much for the goon and he fell dead.

Fendira reached into the bag of holding and attempted to remove the Wondrous Trout of Ages from it. Luckily, the God Kylus Marvelous refused her attempt to remove such a bounty from his plane of existence within the bag.


Wondrous Trout of Ages

As we searched the room, we found reports scattered all around, as well as a note that tells us that somebody has been tracking our team since the beginning of our adventures. We also found a key on Grimjaw.

We found a secret stairwell that leads to some boats down below, possibly a means of escape we can use later.

The steward rooms beyond had a few commoners that were startled upon our arrival.

FEAR NOT” Captain Smitty said “For I am Smitty, current Captain of Loganth’s Squad! The terrible reign of Grimjaw is at an end”. The commoners cheered. Kilrin then proclaimed “Let a whole NEW reign of servitude begin”. The joke was apparently lost on the commoners as they looked confused, yet still happy to be free of Grimjaw’s control. We convinced the commoners to give us food and supplies and told them to lay low until we could clear the base of enemies. Only then would they be free. Loganth’s presence and dashing good looks helped to convince them that Loganth’s Squad could be trusted.

We moved to the second floor and Grugain used his dark drowy powers to make Fendira take the lead of the party. Unfortunately, as we entered one of the rooms, we got ambushed by more pirates and Fendira was hit. She cursed the drow and used her Shatter on the pirates, a loud ringing noise causing them to cringe in pain. Fendira’s spell weakened them enough for Captain Smitty to come along and put them all to sleep. We tied the guards up and decided to deal with them later.

We checked the next door, Captain Smitty pushing Grugain aside and taking the lead, to be welcomed by a priest who sprays Captain Smitty all over with his water essence with a sigh of relief. Captain Smitty, unimpressed, takes the brunt of the sexua-… er, I mean, plain regular assault from the priest like a true dwarf. A Combination of Loganth‘s firebolt, Grugain’s eldritch blasts, and Kilrin’s sacred flame / teabagging take out the priest in quick order.

At first, we noticed several large bookshelves in the room. Fendira squealed in glee, but as we came to face the front of the bookshelves, we realized they were mostly empty. Fendira’s smile went upside down. She silently cursed the drow, which in all fairness is probably to blame anyways. We discovered another secret passage that lead to a very wet floor with some chests.


Captain Smitty took the lead “AS ANY GOOD MAN SHALL!” and used Grimjaw’s key on the main chest. A blast of green light was emitted from the chest and Captain Smitty placed the Staff of Healing instinctively in front of him to protect himself. The staff crumbled to the ground in dust, disintegrated by the chest’s defensive trap. Everybody looked at Captain Smitty with surprise.

“Don’t worry friends! This will only make the challenge greater and the story more epic! Trust in your captain!” As he stroked his lute to calm us down. Fendira was having none of it, as she declared this to be the WORST possible outcome. Everybody else agreed with Fendira.

The rest of the treasure chests were brimming with gems and gold, light making them sparkle in the dim light. We had found the famed pirate booty, and it was all ours now! Unfortunately, Drongar’s missing sword was nowhere to be found.

We returned to the tied up guards who were now awake. Grugain began to act like a slave for Loganth’s squad, begging the pirates to share their knowledge.

Grugain, to put the fear of Gods into them, began to use his pedo voice: “You must tell them what they want to know. You don’t know what they are capable of.”

Loganth interrupted: “It’s not MY fault his head didn’t stay on. They just don’t make necks like they used to.”

Grugain continued: “Have you seen what they’ve done to me?” as he shows them his missing finger and thumb, “They did this simply for not calling the right member Captain at the time. Tell them what they need to know and they’ll treat you well, right master Loganth?”

Loganth quickly slapped Grugain across the face “Don’t you DARE address me unless I command you to do so, drow!”


Fendira couldn’t help but smile at the treatment of the drow, even if it was a performance. Or was it?

The pirates didn’t have much more info, and we knocked them out once we got what we wanted from them.

Grugain: “Looks like we’ll have to explore this place a bit more to find the sword”

Loganth slapped him once more, condemning him for speaking out of turn again.

As we made our way across the yards, we saw a woman come out of the chapel. Grugain wished to be quiet, yet Captain Smitty condemns those who roll below 20 and shouted out to the woman and her party that we worked for Grimshaw and that those who get in our way, get in Grimshaw’s way!

The woman had long, waist length, kelp hair. She was wearing blue robes and her body possessed many barnacles. Clearly she was some sort of kelp sorceress.


She was accompanied by more of those briny Water cult warriors!

She was confused with Captain Smitty’s declaration, giving us the moment of surprise we needed. Fendira acted quickly and trapped our foes in a Web, anchored to the church and armory. The kelp sorceress cast a spell of fear on us, yet none of us were affected. To maintain the ruse, Kilrin pretended to strategically retreat from the kelp sorceress. She was clearly fooled by his performance.

Grugain used his warlock powers to hex the kelp sorceress, causing her to have even more troubles in the web. Captain Smitty cast sleep on them, knocking one of her men out. Loganth cast a bonfire on the kelp sorceress and the webs got caught up in flames as she screamed in agony from the fire. Kilrin realized the kelp sorceress no longer cared about his actions, returned to the fight and cast a sacred flame on her, bringing down his holy light and cleansing the world of her evil.

Loganth’s squad continued to take down their foes; Fendira with her rays of frost and shatters, Kilrin with his mace and sacred flame, Captain Smitty using his crossbow and spells of bane, Grugain with his eldritch blasts and his hexes. One of the foes tried to strike down Kilrin, but he laughed at the attempt, making the foe cower like a bitch at his incredible, self-proclaimed armor class of 25.

Captain Smitty tried to ascertain the status of each his team members, but Grugain continuously interrupted the team by answering in their stead. Captain Smitty grew frustrated as he knew the drow wouldn’t pay attention to him when he actually needed it. Captain Smitty then cast another sleep and 3 more foes went down to nap. Clearly we assaulted these pirates during nap time. It made Loganth wonder: “Are WE the baddies?”. Loganth looked to the sky for some answers. Kylus Marvelous’ symbol shone through the clouds with a resounding “No.”

Kilrin maced the last foe standing to the ground and the group was victorious. The kelp priestess tried to reach for the conch, but Loganth kept it away because she was clearly gross and wet. He took his own conch and dripped some of the seawater on her, telling her to be one with the sea. With her dying breath, she told the team that Sholar is most likely in The Depths and that Gar would destroy them all…

We entered a barracks where more pirates were found on their beds. They looked confused, and as they spoke, Loganth’s squad became confused as well as their accents changes from Creole, to Dwarvish, and finally landing on Cliché Pirate. Captain Smitty told them to join the squad or to leave here and not come back, less their lives be ended.

Captain Smitty, growing fond of this place, declared this pirate den “Smitty’s Pirate Getaway”. Kilrin insisted it should be “Adventure”, but Kilrin did not achieve captain status for this adventure, and he was quickly dismissed.

We entered the chapel and found an Altar with a strange symbol, something like a horizontal bar. By now, we easily recognized it as the symbol for the water cult. In the altar, there was a hidden panel and we discovered another purple crystal like the ones before. Fendira tried to place the crystal in the box with the others, but almost managed to drop them all onto the floor. Captain Smitty, sighing at her attempts, saved the day and used his crossbow to nudge the crystal into the box with the others.

“And THAT’S why they call me Smitty The Great!”

At the Gatehouse, Smitty used his jazz hands to unlock the door. He declared that “we don’t need no stinkin’ keys” and threw the keys into the sea (he might’ve been pretending). His new gloves ARE invisible afterall…

As we made our way towards the final area we hadn’t searched yet, a ship’s canons fired at us!
The halfling, Pike, was commanding the remaining pirates to attack us. Pike, clearly suffering from ocean madness, then smashed a molotov cocktail on the boat, setting it ablaze.

Kylus Marvelous can be heard laughing as Kilrin screamed in fear and anger. Kilrin made a mad dash for the boat, wanting to save this majestic 40 foot ship for the squad. Grugain cast an eldritch blast on one of the pirates, and as the pirate took the blast to the chest, he began to laugh maniacally, turning into some kind of jester or joker, if you will.

Captain Smitty had an idea and ordered Loganth to sound the conch, alerting the other pirates to come to their aid to save the ship from being engulfed in flames. Loganth was reluctant, but the Captain did order him, so he sounded the conch. Immediately, Loganth, Captain Smitty , Fendira, and Grugain began to feel their lungs fill with sea water. It flowed freely from their mouths and noses as they tried to gasp for breath.

Kilrin, unaffected by the conch, made his way through the flames of the ship, the water evaporating off of Kilrin‘s armor, and dashed towards Pike. Kilrin bashed Pike and sent him flying off the ship and to his watery grave. Kilrin, finally making use of his belaying pin, began to pump water onto the flames to put them out. The boat saved, Captain Smitty renamed the boat from the “Rivermaid” to something more appropriate: "Smitty’s Voice".


Smitty’s Voice

Loganth‘s squad decided to check out the last tower quickly, only to hear bugbears playing some silly cup game. Fendira made it clear she didn’t wish to disturb these giant creatures (perhaps because of her small size?). Captain Smitty decided that the party should rest on the ship before approaching the bugbears.

Their rest was interrupted as Loganth heard noise coming from one of the canals leading into a narrow cave. He also noticed a lot of torch light coming from there. He woke up the rest of the squad and they made their way to the secret passage in Grimshaw’s office. The secret tunnel lead to the cave containing the canal. They overheard somebody ordering a bunch of men to find and kill Loganth’s squad.

Loganth came up with a brilliant idea: They would throw a keg of gunpowder from the ship into the water, that would then follow the canal’s stream and into the cave. Loganth would then cast a fire spell on it to set it off, causing the small cave to collapse on itself. The squad laughed and mocked the idea for a time, until they saw and heard Gar Shatterkeel coming after them with his massive trident and riding a monstrous shark.


They quickly recanted their statements and praised Loganth’s plan as genius. They began to sail away as Loganth put his plan in motion. He cast a firebolt on the keg of gunpowder and it blew up spectacularly, collapsing the small cave and securing their escape from this Gar “Ursiel” Shatterkeel McGee! The water Prophet yelled out in frustration as he was clearly no match for Loganth and his amazing squad of merry adventurers!

Loganth’s squad sailed forth into the sunset on their brand new 40 foot majestic boat, with its 3 canons, and its length definitely NOT 6 feet long.

Session 10: Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!
Assault on Riverguard Keep! by Nasaug

As the elves finish off the orc battle, Nasaug recognizes one of the wood elves as his cousin, Jharym.


Jeremy: “Nasaug, you are amazing! You basically dealt with all the orcs yourself.”
Nasaug: “Shut up baby. I know it…”
Jeremy: “The Emerald Enclave wanted me to give you this in honor of you being super fly.”
Nasaug promoted to Summerstrider (Emerald Enclave rank II).
Nasaug receives Boots of springing and striding.

Meanwhile, Loganth investigates the war chief. He finds a dark purple crystal sticking out of the center of the war chief’s chest. Loganth grabs the crystal without thinking of the consequences. Unsurprisingly, the evil war chief crystal does evil things to Loganth. His eyes turn purple and he appears locked in a trance. I’m immediately drawn towards this strange powerful feeling.

Luckily, Loganth is able to snap out of the trance before anything bad happens. We realize the crystal looks very similar to the one we found previously. When we start to compare the two crystal they magically fly together and combine into one new piece. Drongar forges a new box to contain the crystal’s dark energy.

Smitty the Wordsmith investigates the long grass around the village. Suddenly, he discovers a pouch of pokeballs (A Bag of Tricks). There appears to be 8 balls in the pouch. Smitty had never heard of a pouch that holds balls before. He guesses the pouch was probably originally designed to hold bells.

The druid lady Drena from the farmstead also gives us a gift of thanks. Loganth tells us that its a magical bag of holding, capable of holding, apparently…

Bag of holding
Bag of holding

The group gathers back up in town. It’s getting late in the day so we decide to help the villagers bury their dead in the graveyard. Afterwards, we setup camp and decide to head back to Summit Hall in the morning. The Elves from High Forest say they’ll help defend the area and help the farmers rebuild.

Journey back to Summit Hall
On the first morning we discover a group of people worshiping a fire. We decide to go talk to them to discover what they are up to. Once we get closer it is pretty clear they are a cult. They call themselves pilgrims but we all know the truth. We leave them to their culting and continue on our way.

After several days, and midway through our journey, we arrive in Beliard. We decide to take a short rest in the city before continuing on. Smitty decides to find a blacksmith to investigate the lock we found in the stone monastery. Smithy, the blacksmith, is very curious about the lock. He thinks that for 75g he will be able to disassemble the lock and make a key for it. Smithy’s apprentice, Smithurs, takes the lock into the back to start working on it.

The next day we head back out to the Sacred Stone Monastery to pick up Statue Grugain. Luckily, he is right where we left him. I guess not many people want to steal statues. Grugain’s pseudodragon is still perched on his shoulder. On closer inspection, we realize Grugain is covered in bird poop.

Nasaug: “Why would be allow birds to poop all over your master little one?”
Pseudodragon: “I would never allow a bird to do that! I haven’t left his side this entire time! Not even to relieve myself!!”

The entire party is grossed out, but we manage to come up with a mechanism to transport Grugain back to Summit Hall. The rest of the journey was uneventful and we made good time traveling once we got back on the road.

Summit Hall

Luckily, once we arrive back at the hall we are informed the cleric has arrived. He takes a look at our injuries and confirms we have been afflicted by the touch of a clay golem, and he will be able to cure us. We pay him the cost of the materials (100g each) and he heals Nasaug, Drongar and Grugain. Unfortunately, Grugain’s fingers didn’t fair so well. His left thumb and right ring finger were damaged beyond repair. He also has a small, but deep section of his left pectoral missing from where Marlos unleashed his rage….

Cleric Priest

Cleric Priest

Finally, with the clay golems curse behind us, the adventurers decide to travel to Wormford to investigate the missing books and the river boat that was travelling down the river.

Arrival in Wormford
Upon entering town, we head to the docks. There we discover a gigantic barge – at least 200 feet long! On board we can see 3 sailors: 2 humans and a halfing. It appears to be the vessel that we say traveling down the river with the water genasi on board.

We ask a local fish monger what he knows about the ship and after a large bribe he is very helpful! We discover the name of the captain and find out it is the ship we are after.

We decide to go up to the boat and ask some questions. Turns out the water genasi Captain, Shoalar Qaunderil, was below deck and comes up when he hears us asking the crew questions. He doesn’t seem to like us and immediately try to kill us with a cannon. Smitty, thinking fast, heats the cannon ball forcing the cannon to backfire directly into the Captain. The force of the blast throws the cannon and the Captain across the ship.

Shoalar Qaunderil

Shoalar Qaunderil

We jump into action and quickly deal with the crew. Unfortunately during the fight the Captain manages to escape by swimming away with incredible speed. We investigate the ship and find 5 tomes of history. We realize these pirates report to the pirate King Jolliver “Jolly” Grimjaw. Luckily, with the map we already had and information we found in the forecastle we managed to put together where their pirate base is located.

Drongar seems enraged. He explains that Jolly Grimjaw killed his master and stole an extremely valuable sword. Drongar has been looking for any leads to get it back. Thinking fast Kilrin Blackwater puts us to work getting the ship rigged up. We leave port and sail towards Jolly’s base hoping to reach him before the captain can report back on what happened.

Sailing towards Jolly Grimsaw

After an afternoon of sailing, Kilrin’s managed to teach us the basics and we are slowly making our way towards Jolly’s base. Looking around it’s almost as if the ship has magically shrunk to 20% of the size. In Wormford this ship appeared to be 200 feet long, but it can’t possibly be more than, maybe, 40 feet long now.

Suddenly, we get attacked by a group of ghouls! We manage to quickly deal with them and continue sailing on…

Arriving at Jolly’s base – Riverguard Keep

Rivergard Keep

Rivergard Keep

We arrive at Jolly’s base to discover the port is blocked by a giant chain. We realize we need more information and begin to interrogate the halfling sailor, Pike. After several minutes of intense interrogation methods he breaks and tells us the water symbol hand sign as well as general information on the base layout and Grimjaw.

Water Cult Warrior

Water Cult Warrior

We stuff him below deck and sail towards the base entrance. Showing the guard the water symbol sign we manage to gain access to the castle. We dock the boat at their port and I look around. I swear the boat’s even smaller than before. Maybe 20 feet long max. Strange, strange magic…

The guards meet us at the dock and guide us directly to Grimjaw’s throne room. In the throne room we are find Grimjaw and a water priest.

Jolliver Grimjaw

Jolliver Grimjaw

Water cult priest

Water cult priest

Drongar, being Drongar, immediately confronts Grimjaw in a very aggressive and direct manner. Grimjaw calls out for Shoalar to identify us. A fight breaks out and Grimjaw transforms into a wereboar!

Thinking quickly, I cast moonbeam on Grimjaw!

We manage to slay Grimjaw despite his ability to heal ordinary wounds as if they were nothing and kill the water priest. However, Shoalar slips through our grasp yet again and runs away.

Just as we are catching our breath we hear a cry out through the castle for guards to report to the throne room …


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